The Standard by Rosanna 馃拵

Free 路 from The Standard

The Mixed Signals Decoder

You can't read their mind. You can run one small test and read the result.

Tap the thing they keep doing.

Why hot and cold is so hard to leave

Rewards that come unpredictably keep behavior going longer than rewards that come every time. Ferster and Skinner showed it in the lab in 1957, and it's the logic of a slot machine. A partner who's warm, then distant, then warm again runs the same loop. The good days feel bigger because you can't predict them.

So judge someone on their average week, not their best one.

The full Field Guide adds a four-week consistency test, 45 green, yellow and red flags, love bombing, ghosting and romance-scam signs. It's one of nine modules in The Standard.

See everything in The Standard 路 $38
If you feel unsafe National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Ages 13 to 26: love is respect, 1-866-331-9474, or text LOVEIS to 22522. In emotional crisis, call or text 988. In immediate danger, call 911.

Educational content for adults 18+. Describes behaviors, not people, and isn't a diagnosis of anyone. This page runs in your browser and doesn't save or send your answers.